did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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