I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
