i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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