omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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