he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
