your room smells of hookers.
And success
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
