How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
