Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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