what if every blade of grass was a penis?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize