I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
