Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
