Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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