We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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