Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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