and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
