so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
two words: eviction party
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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