I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
