remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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