Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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