Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Barsexuality is the new black.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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