the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
