Midget sex pt 2 tonight
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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