Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
