Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
