i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
