just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
