Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
