he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
