3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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