return my video game
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
