it was like eating out sand paper
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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