know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
