I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
ok first of all what the fuck
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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