She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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