I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
