YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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