Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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