found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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