It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
