took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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