that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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