it hurts more in the daytime
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
