I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
