"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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