Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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