You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sext me about skeletons
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
