Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
