im drinking this country out of the recession.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
