You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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