We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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