If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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