hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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