I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
