I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
