Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
