I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
