Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
